I’m having a real shit day today.
I yelled at Max this morning. He didn’t want to wear the green shirt I picked out for him. It’s the last week of school before Christmas break and each day they’re supposed to wear something different. Today it was green for The Grinch. Tomorrow it’s a tacky sweater. Wednesday it’s red for their Christmas program. Thursday it’s pajamas. He didn’t like the shirt. It was the only green shirt he has. He said it was too tight. It wasn’t. We were short on time. He was digging through his drawer to find another shirt. I lost my temper. Now, he’s at school in an orange shirt when he’s supposed to be wearing green and that breaks my goddamn heart.
I’ve spent most of the day feeling sorry for myself.
I wrote this sixteen page poem about being a mom/soul guardian that spiraled way out of control before it was over. I almost posted it but then I thought…hmm…I don’t want to show you my crazy all at once.
So anyway, wanna read it? It’s not actually 16 pages but it is a hot mess.
I’ll spare you for now. But someday I’m gonna make you read all my garbage.
It’s about time to go sit in the pick up line and wait for Max. I don’t have any good songs today. I’m not feeling the music at all. I’m not feeling much of anything, really. Well, besides what I feel for you but I’m not counting that. I always feel electric for you no matter how shitty or blah my day has been.
I hope you still feel electric for me too.
Oh wait. I do have a song for you! I was trying to think of what to name this post when I thought of ‘Long Monday.’ That’s a John Prine song I always wanted to play for you. I was saving it to send to you after I got back home from meeting you for the first time. But now works too.