I finally took the Christmas tree down. I know. I’m super late to the party. Story of my life.
I haven’t played a song for you in so many days now. I wonder how many songs would have been shared between us by now if we were still talking. I need a break from my songs. I need you to throw something in the mix. I’ve been listening to the same things over and over again. I have begun to bore myself. I wonder if you were reading these words if I would also bore you. Most likely.
I have no idea how any of this reads. Is it crazy? Desperate? Pathetic? Or is it just sad? I really don’t know and I have no idea how you will react to any of this if you ever come back around. Maybe I just won’t tell you I’ve been writing to you here and delete it all before you have a chance to look at any of it. Maybe I’ll only tell you about it after you’ve fallen in love with me and decide you can’t live without me and I know this will not make or break us. Maybe then I’ll print it all out for you and present it to you as some kind of token of my devotion to you. Maybe by then you won’t see it as crazy but as endearing.
I’m not crazy, you know. If you wanted me to go away, I would. You didn’t tell me that, though. I don’t think you want me to go away. I don’t think you wanted to go away from me either. I wish you didn’t feel like you had to. But you did feel like that and I’m so sorry.
Everything is still the same.
Someone played this today so I’m sharing it with you. Maybe you’ve heard it before. I never have. You have to follow it all the way through.