The Story of My Life

I come home wasted and spent, falling out of the backseat of a cab at 7:30 in the morning and onto my lawn just as the sprinklers come on, my dress hiked up around my waist, one side of my panties stuck in the crack of my ass; crawling on all fours across my lawn; scraping my knees on the sidewalk as I pull myself up the steps and hurl myself over the entrance of my front door; lying there all day half in and half out of this life in here and that life out there.

First of all, we don’t even have cabs around here.
Second of all, I don’t use sprinklers on my lawn; and
Third, I don’t wear panties half the time.

But GODDAMN

Sometimes I want to embrace this train wreck inside me and just yell YES COMPLETELY WRECK ME LET’S SEE WHAT THAT WILL LOOK LIKE !!!!

It would look a lot like me coming home at 7:30 in the morning and falling headfirst onto my lawn out of the backseat of a cab.

Only the sprinklers would jam and I would asphyxiate there in the greenish/brown blades of grass while the sun baked my exposed right ass cheek a crimson red.

And that’s where I’d eventually be found.

THAT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

THE END.

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