14 days

remember, 14 days ago, when there was color behind my eyes
and I could breathe
and i busted the speaker in my car
listening to my music so loud
because there was color again?

that was 14 days ago.

there was still color 13 days ago, too.
and 12.
and 11.
and 10.
there was still color for part of 9, too.
but then it went dark
and it’s been black around here for 9 and a half days now
and i need some night vision goggles
because i can’t see a goddamn thing.
and people keep asking me questions
and expecting answers.
and max wants scrambled eggs for breakfast
but what’s that?  i can’t find the carton anywhere.
nothing is where i left it and
I’ve gone blind.
and i might be going mad too.

now the busted speaker is just a reminder
of my busted up life,
of my busted up head,
of my busted up eyes,
of my busted up heart.
it’s all just busted the fuck up.
and i keep trying to pick up all the pieces
so i can glue them all back together
but it’s so fucking dark in here.

except the lights won’t help because i’m fucking blind.

now I’ve got pieces of my eyes glued to pieces of my heart,
and strands of my hair glued to the dashboard,
and the speaker is covered in bits of my brain,
and it sounds like absolute shit in here now.

i should really call the dealership and tend to the busted up speaker,
but how am i supposed to do that when i can’t GODDAMN HEAR either.

For fucks sake.

I can’t goddamn hear.

can somebody bring me a fucking cane?
or just sit me down in this wheelchair
but don’t put me over by the window.
i can’t see shit anyway and i can’t hear the birds
singing the-fuck-knows-what to each other,
so it doesn’t bloody matter where you wheel me.
just throw me in the utility closet
with the bugs and chemicals.

i can’t smell or feel a motherfucking thing anyway.

throw me the fuck away already.
roll my body up in that cheap rug you bought from Ollie’s
and take me out to the city dump.
i hope the goddamn compactor rolls right over me
and crushes all my bones to pulp,
and i leak out into the soil,
and maybe the ants and worms
can find some nourishment
in that bloody fucking stew.

you’re goddamn welcome you fucking bug motherfuckers.

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