You see what happens when you leave me alone with the red wine late at night? You really shouldn’t let me drink so much when you’re not around. I get a little out of control sometimes and start carrying on like I’m some tortured soul that no one understands.
Just ignore me, ok? Honestly, that’s all you can really do when I go off on one of my tangents. I promise to be on my best behavior if you come back. We can read the newspaper together and clip coupons over coffee and bagels and I will not tell you how the cream cheese reminds me of the snow that fell in 1993 when I lived in that blue house down that dirt road and how it covered everything everywhere and we had never seen snow like that and we went out and made snow angels in it and brought some inside so my mom could make snow ice cream for us. No. I will not tell you any of that. I will read aloud to you a headline about Iran and maybe an interesting obituary and then I will take my leave of you so you can go do your things and I will not disturb you until you need me to disturb you; at which point I will crawl into your lap and disturb the ache in your loins for me until you are completely spent and weightless.
Then I will cook for you and you don’t have to do anything at all except sit right here and read your favorite book or play a song for me on the stereo. I will run my fingers through your hair as I look over your shoulder to see what you’re reading and maybe you will put the book down and pull me into your lap and kiss me. Or maybe you won’t. Maybe I’ll lean down and kiss the back of your neck instead. Or here. Go sit in your favorite chair. Maybe you need to close your eyes for a few minutes. That’s ok. I’ll wake you when dinner is ready.
After we eat, you can help me with the dishes if you want. But you don’t have to. It’s been a long day for you and I don’t mind taking care of you right now. You are tired and feeling bad so let me do this, please? I know you don’t feel like it. You don’t feel like doing anything right now. I understand.
Maybe you’d like to take a walk around the block tonight. Let me finish up here and we’ll go together. I’ll hold onto your hand the whole way there and back and I won’t let it go.
I’ll never let go of your hand.
I hope your Saturday is beautiful.
If it can’t be beautiful, I hope it’s bearable.